The Many Incarnations of a Lover

Victor Brauner‘s Dancing Girl, photo by istolethetv

I see the myriad incarnations of my beloved.

Like all faces, hers is asymmetrical. I look at one side of her face and capture one mental image. I look at the other side and the image is different. When I oscillate between sides, the mental image shifts constantly. (It’s vaguely like a scramble suit.) What does she really look like?

The effect is accentuated by heightened states of consciousness. (Uneven lighting helps too.) The more expanded my mental state, the more distinct and varied the faces. In extreme cases I see wrinkled faces with toothy grins; babies; seductive young tarts; wise mothers. These are likely past or future incarnations I have known or will know. I see the faces of other people I know today, of whom I believe she is a soul sibling.

It’s like she is just one physical/temporal terminal in a vast network of beings, or again (shamelessly promoting my theory here) her soul siblings. She is obviously very different from the others in the network, yet they share some connection. The network is like some multidimensional entity; the experience of different beings is like viewing different sides of the same object.

The implications are startling. If I can access these incarnations with my visual cortex, who’s to say how far her connection to these beings goes? When I connect with her emotionally, physically, intellectually, how am I connecting with the others? Do they share thoughts, memories, sensations?

Last weekend an acquaintance (with whom my lover shares vague similarity) said, “It’s nice to see you with such a great person.” The more I thought about it, the more it sounded like “I’m glad we found you a vessel in our network that works so well for you.”

~ by Grant on July 11, 2012.

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